relationship habits

I rehomed myself – rebranded Sunday as SpaDay – & married Donald Trump [Sept 2017]

I’m back! – I broke up with Gorgeous Man (in case you blinked) – moved house – wrote a blog post about a top strategy for beating emotional eating habits – rebranded Sunday – and married Donald Trump!

Sunday = SpaDay

You were probably too busy and important to notice that I didn’t send out my last few newsletters. Basically I was practicing radical self-care. Which included re-branding Sunday as SpaDay. And not doing anything I didn’t absolutely have to. Like sending out newsletters.

I didn’t enjoy not sending you newsletters, and there was definitely mild guilt. But while my recent breakup is amicable-ness personified (a refreshing change from some other breakups I won’t mention) it’s still been fricking exhausting re-homing myself. The situation has however highlighted the usefulness of having a few spare blog posts up one’s sleeve. Point taken.

Have you ever run away from money – like me?

But I’m back and I’ve been busy generating income.

My latest article is the top strategy for beating emotional eating. The strategy works just as well for emotional drinking, smoking, etc.

A key purpose of that specific article is to support the launch of my premium Health Psychology weight-control coaching services. I’m charging premium prices for highly motivated premium clients @ $500 + GST per session.

My fees have opened a can of worms about how we value the helping professions, who – apologies to all helping men – are usually women. We often dichotomize our work motivations – we are either doing it for love or money. So, by definition, if you want decent money, that means you don’t care – positively cold hearted.

I have refused money

I have actually refused money for work. I felt uncomfortable accepting money for work that I found easy or fun. ‘Work’ is supposed to be hard and difficult. If it wasn’t, I didn’t feel like I’d earned the money.

A million years ago, at the start of my Lifeline telephone counseling training, I dared to ask a trainer if I could have more soup. I mean, I dared to ask if our petrol costs for driving to our Lifeline shifts were reimbursed. The trainer fixed me with a steely gaze and barked “No! Being a Lifeline counselor costs you money!”

OK. So I gave my time and money to Lifeline for eight years. And I loved it.

However I’m now in a position where I literally can’t afford to be precious about choosing between love and money. Love won’t pay my rent.

I hope I’m extreme

I may be extreme in my money aversion – I hope I am – but I’m far from alone. Just this weekend I was training with therapists. A common refrain was they were there, training and paying good money to do so – so they could help people.

And then the trainee therapists rushed to add that they weren’t doing it for the money. I did mention an acquaintance of mine charged $500 per coaching session, and the room rang with outraged gasps. It seemed prudent not to mention I was charging the same.

And I love helping people – easing their distress, helping them make and break habits, helping them feel less alone, helping them feel amazing – and it’s not always easy and fun, but usually it is. But I’m not choosing any more between love and money.


I’m smooshing them together.

And it’s not just because I can’t afford to be choosy, it’s also because I’m choosing to value my skills and services. I’m choosing to value me.

I feel an urge to say $500 may be more than the average (female) counselor, but it’s comparable with many (male dominated) professions such as lawyers and surgeons, and cheaper than many other (male dominated) professions. But I feel that feeling is defensiveness, so I won’t say that stuff.

Here’s your permission note

Hopefully in giving myself permission to exchange my premium services for premium money, I’ll be giving others permission to do the same – maybe you.

If you do have money guilt (and spending beyond your means is a symptom) here’s a cute wee video from Marie Forleo called “4 money beliefs that limit your wealth inside and out

The only thing I’d add to this uplifting video is this: isn’t it better that we – you and me – have loads of money than certain other people? We would put that money mountain to much better use – and my long game is saving the world – than say, Donald Trump.

Speaking of…

I do! I was married to Donald Trump

For real. It was a real dream. Not like my fake dream that I was Oprah Winfrey’s personal Health Psychology weight-control coach.

No, this was a truly bizarre dream I had recently. Coincidentally, the day after the dream I hatched bubonic-plague-like hives. But I’m pretty sure the hives were caused by a Bad Prawn, not Donald Trump.

Anyhoo, as my husband, The Donald was like a well-meaning, overgrown, confused child – trying to please everyone (including me!) but not knowing how. I just felt a bit sorry for him.

I know you are doing your best

I think it speaks to my belief that we are all doing the best we can with the tools we have at the time – whether that’s me, you, or The Donald.

Even before my dream I was sympathetic towards Donald Trump. I did request he get the mental health care he’s entitled to under ObamaCare, in my pre-election HuffPost article Trump, Hitler, & me: Why bullies are physiologically motivated to bully.


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Want to get in touch?  Send me a message on the contact form on my blog. Go on, ask me anything.

Further reading: Let the children cry – warning, it’s a grim read but probably worth it if, as a child, you were shamed for crying

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” – according to the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, I mean Wikipedia, this quote is derived from Scottish author and theologian Ian MacLaren, but is frequently misattributed to Plato or  Philo of Alexandria.

I know you are fighting a hard battle. Be kind.

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